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HUNGOVER ⚡︎ AUTHOR ⚡︎ PROFESSIONAL YAPPER ⚡︎ EMINEM-RAPPING ⚡︎ ASTROLOGY GIRLY ⚡︎ UNHINGED ⚡︎ OVERSHARER ⚡︎ SARCASTIC ⚡︎ SELF-AWARE ⚡︎ CONTROVERSIAL ⚡︎ CREATIVE ⚡︎ GEMINI ⚡︎ INTUITIVE ⚡︎ FERAL ⚡︎ DRAMATIC ⚡︎ MANIFESTING GENERATOR ⚡︎ MARTINI-FUELLED ⚡︎ STORYTELLER ⚡︎ CUNTY ⚡︎
⎯⎯⎯ WHAT'S INSIDE
Everything,
actually everything
⚡︎ Full birth chart — all twelve houses, read in plain English.
⚡︎ Your numbers — life path, destiny, soul urge and personality.
⚡︎ Full destiny matrix — love line, karma tail, inner self, life cycles, outer self, money line, talents and purpose.
⚡︎ In-depth human design — type, strategy, authority and how you make decisions.
⚡︎ A cheeky tarot spread — to pull it all together beyond the cosmos.
⚡︎ Three months of transits — what's landing, when, and what to do with it.
⚡︎ Your burning questions — ask me something specific, or leave it blank and get the general vibe.
Delivered as a written PDF. Yours to keep, re-read and quote at people.
TAROT ⚡︎ DESTINY MATRIX ⚡︎ ASTROLOGY GIRLY ⚡︎ LIFE PATH ⚡︎ GET THE COSMIC TEA ⚡︎
⎯⎯⎯ COSMICALLY CALLED OUT · from $55
HOW IT WORKS
It’s simple: you order for $55, one payment, no subscription and absolutely no sneaky upsell. You’ll then fill out the form with your full name at birth (middle name included), birth date, exact birth time and birth place because the details need to be accurate for the charts to actually be yours. From there, I do the work: charts are drawn, numbers are run, patterns are cross-referenced and opinions are formed. Then, within 3–5 business days, your personalised PDF lands straight in your inbox.
probably with a martini in hand
⎯⎯⎯ PLOT TWIST
THE DRUNK GIRL IN THE BATHROOM IS A WITCH
“What does the drunk girl in the bathroom know about birth charts?” Honestly? A fucking lot. I’ve been obsessed with understanding why I am the way I am for as long as I can remember, and that rabbit hole took me far beyond traditional methods. Birth charts, Human Design, Life Path numbers, Destiny Matrix and all the weird little cosmic breadcrumbs you’ve probably glossed over without realising how much they can reveal. Eventually, I started analysing the people around me, because apparently my love language is using the cosmos to remind you how powerful, complicated and brilliantly weird you actually are.
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It’s not a guarantee, and your birth chart isn’t a legally binding contract with the universe, but it is pretty fucking interesting how many people I’ve shocked by describing patterns, contradictions, strengths and blind spots they’d never told me about. Cosmically Called Out is my way of turning years of obsession, intuition and cosmic pattern recognition into personalised readings that make you go, “Wait… what the fuck. How do you know that?” Call it an intuitive reading, call it cosmic pattern recognition, call it whatever you like. I just know I’m bloody good at it, and after years of people saying, “I can’t believe you just did that for me for free,” I figured it was probably time to start charging.
HUNGOVER ⚡︎ AUTHOR ⚡︎ PROFESSIONAL YAPPER ⚡︎ EMINEM-RAPPING ⚡︎ ASTROLOGY GIRLY ⚡︎ UNHINGED ⚡︎ OVERSHARER ⚡︎ SARCASTIC ⚡︎ SELF-AWARE ⚡︎ CONTROVERSIAL ⚡︎ CREATIVE ⚡︎ GEMINI ⚡︎ INTUITIVE ⚡︎ FERAL ⚡︎ DRAMATIC ⚡︎ MANIFESTING GENERATOR ⚡︎ MARTINI-FUELLED ⚡︎ STORYTELLER ⚡︎ CUNTY ⚡︎
ELSEWHERE
Life advice from the drunk girl in the bathroom. Books, readings, resets and prompt decks.
Life advice from the drunk girl in the bathroom. Books, readings, resets and prompt decks.
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