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⎯⎯⎯ AUTHOR ⚡︎ CHART READER ⚡︎ MENANCE
FUCK, SHE LOOKS LIKE A GOOD TIME
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I'm Teagan. I say the thing everyone's thinking about four seconds before it's socially acceptable. There's a book, there's a reading that will drag you in the nicest possible way, and there's a one-day reset for when you've gone feral. Pick your poison.
HUNGOVER ⚡︎ AUTHOR ⚡︎ PROFESSIONAL YAPPER ⚡︎ EMINEM-RAPPING ⚡︎ ASTROLOGY GIRLY ⚡︎ UNHINGED ⚡︎ OVERSHARER ⚡︎ SARCASTIC ⚡︎ SELF-AWARE ⚡︎ CONTROVERSIAL ⚡︎ CREATIVE ⚡︎ GEMINI ⚡︎ INTUITIVE ⚡︎ FERAL ⚡︎ DRAMATIC ⚡︎ MANIFESTING GENERATOR ⚡︎ MARTINI-FUELLED ⚡︎ STORYTELLER ⚡︎ CUNTY ⚡︎
⎯⎯⎯ GET THE LORE
HI. I'M TEAGO,
AND I'M ALOT
Double Gemini, Aries moon, Manifesting Generator — which is a long way of saying I have forty tabs open, forty opinions, and I'd go absolutely feral for a well-made dirty filthy martini.
I wrote a book called Congratulations, You're the Problem: Life Advice from the Drunk Girl in the Bathroom. I also go full witch mode on your birth chart — and your human design, your matrix, your numbers — then hand the whole lot back to you in plain English. No incense, no whispering, no charging you $400 to be told you're an old soul. Just the patterns, named out loud, by someone who'd rather be useful than mystical.
And I built the Lazy Girl Reset out of my own spicy little brain, because I needed something that still worked on the days I couldn't be a person. That's it. That's the whole operation.
Teagan O'Brien
⎯⎯⎯ The book · Out 28 November
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE THE PROBLEM
Life advice from the drunk girl in the bathroom
Part messy memoir, from the years I lived it badly so you don't have to. Part getting psychoanalysed by your funniest friend three spicy margaritas deep. It's the pep talk and the callout in the same breath, and you will feel personally attacked in a way that helps.
Signed, with a personalised message you choose.
AUS & NZ pre-orders.
$35
PRE-ORDER ⚡︎ CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE THE PROBLEM ⚡︎ LIFE ADVICE FROM THE DRUNK GIRL IN THE BATHROOM ⚡︎ NOV 28TH ⚡︎ CUSTOM SIGNED ⚡︎
⎯⎯⎯ The LAZY GIRL RESET
Cheaper than therapy. Let's regulate that nervous system.
The three most useful things in my book, pulled out and packaged so you don't have to think. Tap your nervous system down off the ceiling. Build your Unfuck Yourself Menu. Spin the Slutty Life Admin Wheel and let it choose, because you clearly can't.
No willpower, no discipline, no becoming a different person by Monday. Just the fastest known route from horizontal and hating yourself to fed, showered and quietly smug.
One payment. Yours forever. Re-run it every time life gets loud.
$69
⎯⎯⎯ COSMICALLY CALLED OUT · from $55
I'll read you to filth using
your own birth chart
Your full birth chart, human design, destiny matrix and life path numbers — cross-referenced, then delivered like a friend three drinks in who loves you enough to say it. Why you keep dating the same person in different fonts. Where your money actually comes from. What you've been calling intuition that is, in fact, fear.
honestly, still cheaper than therapy
WANT TO JOIN THE UNOFFICAL BOOK CLUB?
Bathroom Talk. Launch dates, chapter drops, unhinged advice, first dibs on everything.
HUNGOVER ⚡︎ AUTHOR ⚡︎ PROFESSIONAL YAPPER ⚡︎ EMINEM-RAPPING ⚡︎ ASTROLOGY GIRLY ⚡︎ UNHINGED ⚡︎ OVERSHARER ⚡︎ SARCASTIC ⚡︎ SELF-AWARE ⚡︎ CONTROVERSIAL ⚡︎ CREATIVE ⚡︎ GEMINI ⚡︎ INTUITIVE ⚡︎ FERAL ⚡︎ DRAMATIC ⚡︎ MANIFESTING GENERATOR ⚡︎ MARTINI-FUELLED ⚡︎ STORYTELLER ⚡︎ CUNTY ⚡︎
ELSEWHERE
Life advice from the drunk girl in the bathroom. Books, readings, resets and prompt decks.
Life advice from the drunk girl in the bathroom. Books, readings, resets and prompt decks.
Built with love and martinis by
