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  • Writer's pictureTeagan O'Brien

Why Having Vulnerability in Your Wedding Vows is Important

Hate to break it to you but Googled vows are obvious and really boring. This is your best friend don't turn this epic moment into a snoozefest, put some forethought into it, and change your mindset to get excited, this is going to be so freaking awesome.

I send my couples a Questionnaire before they get hitched and one of the questions is "What are you most looking forward to?" The couples I attract always say "Having a big party with all our favourite people" to be honest a lot of them have said the ceremony was what they were least looking forward too, which is mostly stems from not wanting to be the centre of attention (can't relate) but surprisingly enough, after the wedding, I ask them what their favourite part of the day was and almost always they say it was the ceremony, closely followed by the sick party that took place too haha.

Think about it like this, this is your human, you found one another and you are ready to rock n roll as each other’s partner in life forever, fuck yes, that's bloody exciting in my opinion! So how does that make you feel? Do you feel excited? stoked? calm? relieved? Express those emotions in your vows. Below I've created some points to get those creatives juices going and this enables you to plan your nuptials with purpose. You know if you don't want to express all the squishy things out loud you can write them in a letter for your babe to read in their preps, which adds a really powerful element to the day before you've even got to the ceremony. Another option is to get your Celebrant to read them for you, although I strongly recommend doing it yourself.

There is no right or wrong way of going about it when you come from a place of authentic intention. If you cry or choke up with nerves, it is OKAY! Allow yourself to feel and enjoy the moment, as you'll hear time and time again that it goes by so quickly! Everyone present is there in support of your marriage and partnership, so trust me they'll all be overcome with the feels there's no need to feel shy or nervous.

Remember no relationship is perfect, so try not to "over promise" in your vows, keep it real, which is why it's important to have your wedding your way, that you have a space that you feel comfortable expressing your truth and can let your vulnerable side be seen.

With the talking points below, you'll have a fairly solid draft to play with. An important thing to remember is not to force something that doesn't really resonate with you or you would think or say. Especially if you're not a massive fan of being mushy in general then don't make your vows sound like a Hallmark card keep it relevant to your feelings and reflect on your relationship, and if you're a hopeless romantic like me then add as much mushy, squishy goodness as you want, there's no such thing as being cheesy if you're expressing your truth.