Streamlining Epic Speeches: Have you ever been to a wedding and the speeches just lack spunk? They just miss the mark, or they are just downright boring or worse yet blatantly inappropriate? Same. Toasts should be something you and your guests look forward too and relished in years after they are said and done. Speeches can be such a powerful component of your day. I get not everybody is great at public speaking and Googles going to tell you the same shit that you will fall into the trap of overused jokes or too structured it becomes a snooze fest! Let's avoid that entirely and make sure they're not only epic for everyone involved on the day but this will also give your videographer pure gold to work with for your film to articulate your story in a way that truly reflects you both!
As a general rule of thumb, the typical order of people who gives speeches is the best man, the maid of honour, and both fathers of the bride and groom, but we're here to break the rules and shake things up. Have whoever you damn well please but in my experience, for loves sake don't have open mic speeches and a free for all where anyone can get up and talk, by this stage everyone’s royally liquored up and the uncle you only see twice a year will get up and ramble for 45 minutes straight about fuck all, and unfortunately I say that from firsthand experience... Anywho how to make sure your speeches are engaging and timeless? Get your speakers to talk about you BOTH as a couple, I'm sure your folks wanna gush about how great you were in little athletics and all your achievements growing up and your bestie has a million embarrassing stories at their disposal but save that stuff individually for your birthdays or other events. A wedding is about the TWO of you so when people go into detail about one half on the couple often, they are isolating not only the partner but half the crowd too.
It often surprises me that majority of the time a lot of guests don't know how the couple met, so what can be funny and heartfelt is your folks point of view when they first met your other half and vice versa, the great qualities you bring out in each other, the best friends account of maybe some embarrassing texts gushing about your significant other or relaying the first date. It gives your guests a real insight to you as a couple in the eyes of people closest to you. Trust me, if you get everyone to stick to the one simple guideline of keeping it relevant to both parties you'll probably be pleasantly surprised what comes to the surface and how different everyone’s accounts are of the two of you. This way it can still be as funny or as heartfelt as your speaker’s desire and keeps everyone engaged and hanging on every word!
General Blueprint for Epic Speeches:
1: Intro - Who they are, their relation to the couple
2: Their take on their relationship in their own words
3: The perception of the relationship when they first met vs. the perception no if it’s changed
4: Funny or romantic story about the COUPLE together
5: Outro – Well wishes, a piece of advice, thank yous
The biggest thing to avoid is long-winded stories about one person or inside jokes. Make that a general rule of thumb when approaching your speakers. It’ll help them streamline exactly what to say and won’t overwhelm them to want to cover their whole life story with you.
Leave the Googled “wedding jokes” on the internet, trust me everyone who’s not crash hot at public speaking will turn to the internet for inspiration and looked in the same place. Even though you may not have heard the jokes before, chances are high there are guests who have heard them which makes them wonder how much of your speech is authentic and what’s borrowed.
Don’t read off your phone, it looks tacky and unprepared. Your speakers should feel special you’ve approached them to speak at such a rad event! Print it out or write on some card.
Keep it under 5 minutes, honestly, nothing interesting comes after 5 minutes. 5 minutes is the perfect timeframe to jam-pack your speech content to the essentials, which will be sure to pack a punch and have everyone hanging on every word!
Screw speech “etiquette” the whole internet is filled with things you “MUST” mention, like the best man addressing the bridal party and commenting on how they look. Keep it authentic to what you’d actually say and don’t stuff things into it for the sake of it.
You can show your speakers this section to help guide them or here’s a great email/text template to send: “Hey! The wedding is approaching, and we are so damn excited for your speech! We want to ensure that it is super streamlined for you, as we are anticipating it is going to be one of our favourite takeaways from the day. Although there is probably a million and one stories and inside jokes you could relay, but we’d love it if you kept your speech relevant to the both of us, as a general rule of thumb as you’re such an important person in our lives so hearing your perspective on our relationship, first impressions, any advice for us, funny stories and your well wishes would be so appreciated. We obviously want to hear all the nice things all night long but alas but do want to mingle and party with you so 5 minutes or under would be the perfect timeframe! Let me know if you have any questions or need any further guidance, seriously we’re so excited!”
Alternatives to the Traditional Order:
Why do we have speeches at dinner? I guess it makes sense to an extent but why not scatter them throughout the day. For example, a few during the cocktail hour, a few more later in the afternoon and the rest during dinner. This way it breaks up the day and keeps it engaging throughout. Make sure you have a designated area for speeches that is well lit and hooked up to a sound system that your Videographer can stream from, I cannot stress enough what a difference it makes overall. If you have a dark corner, no sound system and a bunch of clattering plates going while your shy fathers trying to project his voice to a room full of people it is just a recipe for a bad time.
Here my FREE downloadable guide, just use "SPEECH" at the checkout:
www.obrienoriginals.com/product-page/streamlining-epic-speeches
www.instagram.com/obrien.originals for heaps more tips on my IGTV